Protecting your energy does more than just preventing energy vampires from taking your energy (without giving back ever). It also helps you to gain more control over what vibrational qualities you are embracing and therefore, it helps you gain control over the kinds of circumstances and people you manifest in your life.
Relationships, whether romantic, platonic, or familiar, are meant to be an even and equal exchange of energy flow. As human beings, we are built to both give as well as receive. Of course, in close relationships it’s normal to experience periods of time where one may be giving more than the other, maybe due to sickness, mental health issues or other problems. That is healthy, as long as the roles can be the other way around if needed and there would be no question about it. So, in healthy relationships there is an equilibrium of sorts; in the greater whole there is a balance, and both are willing give and receive.
If we allow others to continuously take our energy, focus and time without ever giving back, we send out the signal to manifest more of those situations. In the “allowing” behaviour itself, you’re emitting the vibration of ‘obligation’ or ‘disempowerment’ which in turn manifests as more situations that bring out that side of you. It is a vicious cycle, which only gets worse until you decide to stop it. Important to understand is that this is YOUR energy, YOUR time, and YOUR focus we’re talking about. If you understand the concept of manifesting and the Law of Attraction, you know how important your time, energy and focus is. Where focus goes, energy flows. And where energy flows, you manifest more of. This is not just about mental focus, it’s how you spend your time, the things you say and choices you make (which are all connected).
You have to take radical responsibility for people mis-/abusing your energy, time, and focus. The problem is, it’s easy to feel like you’re a victim to it. Especially if it happens in a situation you can’t just easily walk away from. However, you always have the choice to allow the behaviour to continue. You can’t expect people to respect boundaries you haven’t set. Communicating your needs and desires is vital to keep the energy exchange balanced between you and others. And if your boundaries continuously aren’t respected, it’s your responsibility to step away from the connection if you can. But I know that’s not always possible, which is why I have 5 tips for you to help you protect your energy.
Setting boundaries isn’t about being mean, it’s about respecting your own needs and desires. Boundaries aren’t a way to push someone away, but when communicated with respect, it can actually strengthen the connection. The right people in your life will respect your boundaries and will communicate their own to you too. But as someone who’s always let people take advantage of myself, I know how hard it is. Something to keep in mind is to always talk from yourself, so use sentences like “I need some time for myself”, or “I have other plans” or “I don’t have the energy to do that right now”.
Even when we’re thinking about someone, we’re giving them (Life Force) energy. This is why it’s important not to give others (those who take advantage of your time, focus and energy) more “air-time” in your mind than they deserve and/or need. Some people don’t deserve your mental energy as much as we tend to give them. When you find yourself thinking about someone excessively who doesn’t deserve it: shift your focus to what you’re doing now. Find some mindfulness exercises if you need.
If you have an intense connection with someone that is hard to let go of, chances are you may share a cord or hook with someone. If this is the case, they will try to get your attention as much as they can, for example by playing the victim, manipulation or even abuse. This behaviour can be subtle or very obvious, but it is important to energetically cut the cords if they exist. This will make it easier for you to focus on other areas of your life and manifest positive experiences. Just your intention is enough to cut the cord, but if you want to be sure you can perform a ritual, do a guided meditation, or ask for help from an energy healer (hi ;)).
It’s okay to take a step back sometimes if that’s the best way to energetically protect yourself. Although I believe that we can find inner alignment, no matter what environment we’re in, it can be really hard to do when you’re constantly around someone very negative and toxic. This doesn’t have to black and white; this can look like texting a little less, taking less initiative or saying no more often. You can love people from a distance. There is a big grey area between allowing someone in your life and cutting them out of your life completely and you are in full control over where on the spectrum you let people be.
I am aware that in certain situations, you may not be able to completely cut someone out of your life, whether that’s because of children, other family bonds or because you’re simply not ready. One way to deal with this is to handle them with a sense of emotional detachment. If someone is continuously negative in your life, practice staying completely neutral in the conversations instead of being swept away by their stories. Don’t take any of it too personally, even if they make it about you. This takes practice and may not always be as easy, but it’s worth practicing.
Also, there is a difference between constructive feedback and just venting/spewing negativity. Use your discernment and reflect honestly to discern which one you’re dealing with and respond accordingly. Your instinct may be to react immediately when someone treats you unfairly. But in the heat of the moment, when your emotions are on the surface, it may be hard to stay objective. Secondly, you’ll waste a lot of your precious energy on if you’re dealing with someone you know probably won’t listen. So, take a few deep breaths and count till 10 before responding. Make a conscious effort to respond in the way you know will help the most.
I hope that you found something useful in this blog. Be kind to yourself in the process of learning how to set better boundaries and tending to your own needs. Understand that this is a continuous journey that takes time and practice.
If you book a reading or manifestation coaching with me I’ll be able to check what karmic attachments are attracting the people and situations in your life you’re currently want to work on. I always channel the information you need to hear right now, so no matter what your intention is, it will be helpful and transformational. I use a combination of energy healing, intuitive guidance and practical coaching to help you transform your life and manifest your dream life.
Interested? Don’t hesitate to give me a call, Whatsapp text or e-mail! Together we’ll figure out if I am the right guide for you at this moment.
